Fake Spring Cleaning

It seems that spring cleaning has not been a priority for my friend, Sarah,  and I this season.

Whilst sat at the park, enjoying the sunny rays, watching the Things  play, make plans and run wild, we concluded that our houses are a bit of a mess slightly untidy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I adore a tidy house.  I can’t sit down and relax knowing that a pair of shoes have not been put away.  Or a drawer has been left open.  Or a cup has not been put in the dishwasher.  However, I am all for fake cleaning.

And the beauty of fake cleaning?

It takes hardly any time!

Concentrate on the main area.  In simple terms- what people actually see.

For  me, this is the hall way.


The stairs usually have items of clothing and other bits and bobs that need to be moved upstairs.  I am the only person in this house which can see the stairs with objects to be moved, and also the only person in the house that can physically carry said items upstairs.

The second area I like to keep tidy is the kitchen/diner/snug.  This is where we live and entertain. So this room is constantly ‘fake’ cleaned.


By moving everyday crap stuff off surfaces- it gives the appearance of a tidy house.   The dishwasher is the best friend of any fake cleaner.


The kitchen table should be cleared- again giving the perception of a tidy house.  Can you see my sofa? Fluffing the pillows makes all the difference, non?!


Here are mine and Sarah’s top 10 tips for fake cleaning your home.

1* Open the blinds/ curtains.  Those people walking outside, will not know you’re fake cleaning inside when from the outside it looks tidy!

2* Open a window/ light a candle.  Heck spray the polish if you choose.  You’ve been cleaning, right?!

3* Put bleach down the loo.  If you’re feeling keen, use a disposable throw away wipe  {eekkk sorry Eco housewives!} and give the sink a once over

3* Unload the dishwasher and load the clutter {last nights wine glasses} on the kitchen sides. Instantly tidy.

4* Bleach the kitchen sink

5* Go around the house with a carrier bag/ plastic bin/ whatever you have and pick up rubbish.  You will find some!

6* Empty the bins.  I mean we have a gazillion, right? Recycling, food and general waste

7 *Make beds.  That’s all you have to do in a bedroom. Fact.

8* Pick up the dirty washing.  You know that dirty laundry wicker basket in my bathroom designed for this purpose?! Neither do The Things.  Or Mr 29.

9* Close doors.  Whether you have a spare room full of clutter *coughs* .  Or a kitchen cupboard you dare not open.  Or a drawer of a unit so full you struggle to open and shut it.  Don’t worry- these can all be sorted.  Another day! You only have to see what you want to.

10* Hoover.  If you want to.  This is compulsory for me as we have a dog. We have wooden floors all downstairs, and sometimes I prefer a quick sweep up instead of lugging the dyson  around.


Perfect fake cleaning ; )

Do you have any other suggestions?


Quotes via Pinterest


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s