I’m a Sh*tty Mom

I have recently finished reading ‘Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us’. I laughed out loud, nodded my head {too} enthusiastically in agreement and said “Yes I did that/do that!


I drank alcohol during both pregnancies. I craved shandy with Thing 1. It was summer and warm, and shandy quenched my thirst. With Thing 2, I purposely delayed taking the pregnancy test so that I could drink, guilt free, over 2 weekends {a Wedding and a Birthday}.

They never slept in our bed as babies. By 4 months they both slept in their own rooms.

I swear. In front of the Things. But, amazingly, despite my filthy mouth, they don’t. Probably because I’ve told them not to say those f@@king words.

I don’t even eat chocolate/ sweets/ anything nice in secret anymore. Hiding took the enjoyment out of it for me and they ALWAYS found me. Now, I openly eat in front of them and watch their jealous faces, reminding them as I munch that I deserve it.


I send them to school sick. Yes I’m one of ‘those’ mothers. But in my defence, I’m a nurse, and the patient on my ward is much sicker than Thing 1’s ear ache or Thing 2’s sore throat. I have discovered that a double dose of calpol and nurofen will delay the school office from ringing until after 1pm. So that’s nearly 3 0’clock. Job done.

‘Thank You’ notes never get written. EVER. I know this is etiquette but seriously, who has the time to write them out? And how long do you keep them until they end up in the re-cycling pile? I have recently been encouraging Thing 1 to send text messages. But this NEVER gets done either.


What makes you a Sh*tty Mother, or am I standing alone?!


3/3/14 I have added this post to The Bad Mums Club hosted by But Why Mummy Why


9 thoughts on “I’m a Sh*tty Mom

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